it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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