Kiss
Puke
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
