Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
