O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
