Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
being pregnant is like rehab
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
