I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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