Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
