Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
