I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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