do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I intend to get homeless drunk
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
