i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
