the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
