So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
