Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I didn't notice because vodka
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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