haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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