it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
