just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
