Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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