she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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