I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
