do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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