never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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