I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize