HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
