Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
then he tried to convert me to islam
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
