Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
