Best friends brother. Beat that.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
