i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
