I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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