Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
