As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
