you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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