fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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