Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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