brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
