i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
