Just cropdusted the office
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
