Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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