I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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