Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
