capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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