What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
