i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
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