That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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