who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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