what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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