Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
