please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
