My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
