you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
