wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
