I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
