I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
