Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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