i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
how does that bad decision feel?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize