Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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