Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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