i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my poor anus
last night I used snow as a chaser
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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