i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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