He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
