Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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