i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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