On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
no, he came in my armpit
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
