Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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