I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
