I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
