Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
