I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it glows. i had to have it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
