Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize