just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
