My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
