does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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