im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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