I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
