Walk of Shame. In a state park.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
please don't ironically join a cult
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