no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
