can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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