He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
